Wild English Rose | Gabriella Wilde in London
Photograph by Emma Summerton.

Wild English Rose | Gabriella Wilde in London

Photograph by Emma Summerton.

So, You Took the Day Off Work to Stand Around Outside and Wait for Kate Middleton to Have a Baby: A Guide


1. “My cat had kittens … all over my car keys. It’s disgusting.”
2. “My knee hurts. And you can’t ask me to be more specific because it’s a fucking invasion of my private, mate.”
3. “Sorry, boss. Funny thing: I can tell I’m about 10 minutes away from collapsing and dying. I’m going to trek over to the royal baby spectacle so I can die there, hopefully propped up against a security barrier. That’s the plan, anyway!”
4. “I can’t possibly do any work because my best friend and I accidentally glued our hands to my cell phone.”
5. “I have a doctor’s appointment so I can find out how old I am. Am I 6? Am I 51? And I 73? It could take a few hours.”
6. “I promised my husband I’d go look for his missing traffic cones today. Oh, yes, and there they are. Got ’em!”
7. “I’m having … mental health day. Like, every year, a few times a year, I celebrate the successes and challenges of medical health professionals. Mental Health Day. Yes, this is my first job, why do you ask?”
8. “I left my personality in a Hollister dressing room over the weekend. I have to go back to the mall and try to find it.”

So, You Took the Day Off Work to Stand Around Outside and Wait for Kate Middleton to Have a Baby: A Guide

1. “My cat had kittens … all over my car keys. It’s disgusting.”

2. “My knee hurts. And you can’t ask me to be more specific because it’s a fucking invasion of my private, mate.”

3. “Sorry, boss. Funny thing: I can tell I’m about 10 minutes away from collapsing and dying. I’m going to trek over to the royal baby spectacle so I can die there, hopefully propped up against a security barrier. That’s the plan, anyway!”

4. “I can’t possibly do any work because my best friend and I accidentally glued our hands to my cell phone.”

5. “I have a doctor’s appointment so I can find out how old I am. Am I 6? Am I 51? And I 73? It could take a few hours.”

6. “I promised my husband I’d go look for his missing traffic cones today. Oh, yes, and there they are. Got ’em!”

7. “I’m having … mental health day. Like, every year, a few times a year, I celebrate the successes and challenges of medical health professionals. Mental Health Day. Yes, this is my first job, why do you ask?”

8. “I left my personality in a Hollister dressing room over the weekend. I have to go back to the mall and try to find it.”

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VF.com answers the urgent question on everyone’s mind: what has Harvard’s Class of 2003 been up to? Here’s an excerpt:

Creating jobs:

I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone. Anyone interested in babysitting, we pay generously.

Visiting London:

“She’s a cool mistress, this wondrous London: ever forgiving but never one to forget.” 

Picking up hobbies:

“I’ve recently taken up boxing in the tradition of Teddy Roosevelt (1880).”

And last but not least, engaging in Smash Bros. rivalries:

Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah, boooooooyyyyyyyyy! Obviously, I bought a Nintendo Wii, and obviously, there’s a Smash Bros. game for it. So obviously, Kevin Clancy ’03 and I renewed our rivalry after he graduated from business school and moved a few blocks away from me on the Upper West Side. I am happy to say that I currently lead him 112-103 all-time (we play one-on-one, in Brawl mode, because of course we do, what do you think we are, weirdos?) The process of writing a ten-year update forces me to survey our Smash Bros. activities and accomplishments, which, to my surprise, are extensive.

Read more here.

Boy George, London’s Underground Punk Scene, and “Deadly Glamorous” Cats
Photograph by Nicola Tyson

And now—record scratch—Branson in a cricket sweater. Branson jogging in slow motion in a cricket sweater! What we’re encouraged to believe is the softer side of Branson The Dad is essentially just poshification—some extra-abrading sandpaper taken to his more unsightly Marxist edges. Now he’s all like, “Stop ruining the dinner party, Mrs. Patmore made lobster, does that mean anything to you” to his “drunken gorilla” brother, and tucking into soft-boiled eggs and starched papers before a leisurely saunter to the estate farms.

More in our weekly recap!  Read and tell us what you think of Branson’s new, Brooks Brothers-y lease on life.
And now—record scratch—Branson in a cricket sweater. Branson jogging in slow motion in a cricket sweater! What we’re encouraged to believe is the softer side of Branson The Dad is essentially just poshification—some extra-abrading sandpaper taken to his more unsightly Marxist edges. Now he’s all like, “Stop ruining the dinner party, Mrs. Patmore made lobster, does that mean anything to you” to his “drunken gorilla” brother, and tucking into soft-boiled eggs and starched papers before a leisurely saunter to the estate farms.

More in our weekly recap!  Read and tell us what you think of Branson’s new, Brooks Brothers-y lease on life.

Around the World in Holiday Windows

Photographs by Justin Bishop, Luke White, and Andi Bakos

(Source: )

NYC may have Lou Reed as its resident rock god, but London’s got Mick Jagger. In the battle between the two cities, which side are you on?

See Christopher Tennant’s Olympics-ready conversion chart here.

Illustration by James Taylor

NYC may have Lou Reed as its resident rock god, but London’s got Mick Jagger. In the battle between the two cities, which side are you on?

See Christopher Tennant’s Olympics-ready conversion chart here.

Illustration by James Taylor

Take a peek inside Loulou’s, London’s hottest new nightspot. Is Pippa Middleton on her way?

Photographs by Jonathan Becker

Stunning Portraits of Female Arab Athletes | Hania Fouda, archery, Egypt
Photograph by Brigitte Lacombe

Stunning Portraits of Female Arab Athletes | Hania Fouda, archery, Egypt

Photograph by Brigitte Lacombe

Ralph Lauren reveals the London Games’ closing-ceremony outfits—white sports clothes with red, white, and blue necktie-silk belts. More here.

Ralph Lauren reveals the London Games’ closing-ceremony outfits—white sports clothes with red, white, and blue necktie-silk belts. More here.