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How Charlize Theron and Dustin Hoffman should have presented at the Oscars.  Michelle Collins relives the 85th Academy Awards in GIFs, memes, and puppy-purse envy. Read her tale of survival here.

How Charlize Theron and Dustin Hoffman should have presented at the Oscars. 

Michelle Collins relives the 85th Academy Awards in GIFs, memes, and puppy-purse envy. Read her tale of survival here.

(Source: vf.com)

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Inside the 2013 Vanity Fair Oscar Party

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Each Vanity Fair Oscar Party place setting is arranged to an almost obsessive degree, and complemented by a colorful bouquet centerpiece of roses, of which there were nearly 3,000 at last year’s party. Here, the settings from 2009’s dinner. See more photos of favors, place-settings, and party details. Photo by Hannah Thomson.

Each Vanity Fair Oscar Party place setting is arranged to an almost obsessive degree, and complemented by a colorful bouquet centerpiece of roses, of which there were nearly 3,000 at last year’s party. Here, the settings from 2009’s dinner. See more photos of favors, place-settings, and party details.

Photo by Hannah Thomson.

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A Platinum Blonde Never Goes Out of Style | Marilyn Monroe, 1954 See more timeless Hollywood glamour and red-carpet beauty trends through the years here.

A Platinum Blonde Never Goes Out of Style | Marilyn Monroe, 1954

See more timeless Hollywood glamour and red-carpet beauty trends through the years here.

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The History of the Vanity Fair Oscar Party

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And the Nominees Are … | See Your 2013 Oscar Nominees from the Pages of Vanity Fair

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Oh hey girl. Cameron Diaz in a Victoria Beckham dress at the V.F. Oscar Party. Photograph, Getty/Vanity Fair. More photos here.

Oh hey girl.

Cameron Diaz in a Victoria Beckham dress at the V.F. Oscar Party. Photograph, Getty/Vanity Fair. More photos here.

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Mr. Steve Martin, everybody! Such a ham for the camera, that guy. We love it. (More arrivals, here.) Photograph, Getty Images/Vanity Fair.

Mr. Steve Martin, everybody! Such a ham for the camera, that guy. We love it. (More arrivals, here.)

Photograph, Getty Images/Vanity Fair.

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Every place setting at the V.F. Oscar party dinner has a Zippo lighter engraved with a Christopher Hitchens quote. We miss you, Hitch.

Every place setting at the V.F. Oscar party dinner has a Zippo lighter engraved with a Christopher Hitchens quote. We miss you, Hitch.

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Red carpets?  So last season. Try green-and-white stripes. Outside the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, as photographers jockey for spots. Keep checking back for more dispatches from L.A..

Red carpets?  So last season. Try green-and-white stripes.

Outside the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, as photographers jockey for spots. Keep checking back for more dispatches from L.A..