“This represents a step forward—yes, forward! as in, the correct direction—from Obama’s previous positions on same-sex marriage, which are, in chronological order: supporting same-sex marriage; unsure; domestic partnerships sound pretty cool don’t they–style reverse psychology; ask someone else; so what does everyone think of Girls?; hey, what’s that over there? No, sorry, I thought I saw someone I knew … anyway what were we talking about?; undecided; and civil unions are the best.”