We Wrote Billy Crystal’s Oscar-Night Song-and-Dance Intro for Him
J. Edgar! J. Edgar!
Who knew working at the F.B.I. would be such a drag?
You nabbed Bonnie and Clyde
But your own special agent Clyde is on the rag!
Sheesh!
Lars von Trier’s got bigger problems than the paparazzi
He went to France and sympathized with a Nazi!
Melancholia fever swept the nation
At least it didn’t have any more of that clitoral mutilation!
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy?
Or Clint’s movie about the F.B.I.?
Hollywood’s fate hangs in the balance!
And if I get stuck for a gag I’ll drag out Jack Palance!
